The Menaces' View of Hogwarts
by River Rox and Skye doesn't
Summary: We are the menaces.  We are in hogwarts and our lives misson is to annoy and potenially destroy the spirits  of any one who is in Hogwarts.  Welcome to our world.   Where everyone hates us...
1. The Essay

Prologlue

We are the three menaces. This is our aim in life to annoy ( and potential destroy the sprits) of

_Hang on what about me? You haven't said anything about me! SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME!_

**Shut up Skye your scaring the owls **

_No you shut up _

Guys let all get along

_**Shut Up River **_

Well thanks a lot _Skye _and you to **Roxie**

**Don't you dare call me Roxie I AM A BOY YOU KNOW **!

_Who's a cute little roxie woxie who's a little roxie woxcie _

Shut up Skye

Anyway sorry about them well I guess one of our greatest achievements was when we annoy the evil grotty Snape…

**Chapter One, The Essay.**

**Here, Snape (Vomit vomit) here's your essay on werewolves…**

**We are going to start by comparing the werewolves to other animals.**

_(creatures, you must mean.)_

**Yes, we will compare the horrific werewolf to the sickening, **_spirit breaking, _mentally sickening, **Proffessorus Snapeus.**

_(I'm gonna be sick.)_

(Just don't be sick on me, be sick on Roxy.)

**You guys shut it. Anyway, the habitat of the stinky Snapeus is a dirty, rotten common room filled with a disgusting breed of slave, called the Slytherins.**

_The Slytherins are led by the amazing bouncing ferret, who will now be referred to as A.B.F._

(Amazing bouncing ferret)

**The werewolf is commonly known for having a few select features such as greasy fur.**

_Must be related to Snape and his slaves then._

**Proffessorus Snapeus is connected to the werewolf in this way.**

To conclude, compared to badgering wombat we have had the misfortune to warn you about, werewolves are a rare breed of fluffy teddybears. And if you ever get detention from Proffesserus Snapeus, beware for his fangs and slimy tongue.

_And you will get an F on your next assaignment, even if it was better than the high standards of Hermione Granger._

_**Beware! **_Of the cruel vicious Snapeus.

_Thank You._

**By The Menaces.**


	2. The Poster

_I have a complaint. _

_Our username. _

_I DO SO ROCK!_

No you don't.

_I do so!_

Do not.

_Do._

Don't.

_Do._

Do-

**SHUT UP!**

_Hah! You said I do!_

Right. That's it!

**River, stop attacking Skye. Skye, put down that lampshade. You shall have to go to court!**

Bags me lawyer!

_Bags me not lawyer!_

**I shall be judge. GUILTY!**

_I haven't said anything yet!_

**I have. **

Court scene later. Poster now.

_Okay, the Scottish Cat-_

**Otherwise known as McGonagall-**

_-Has said that we had to do a nice poster about one of our classmatess._

So, here it is!

**Chapter Two – The Poster**

**Come and see the **

_AMAZING _

**BOUNCING**

FERRET!

_(Boo!)_

(Skye! Don't boo the ferret!)

_(Why not?)_

(Because ferrets are cute!)

**(RIVER HAS A CRUSH ON THE FERRET!) **

_The ferret comes when called!_

**For example:**

_**FERRET!**_

(No one's coming!)

_**MALFOY!**_

(Here he is!)

_**(STUPEFY!)**_

(You've stunned the ferret!)

_**(YAY!) **_

_So, come and get you're A.B.F today!_

**Just stun a random blonde boy with green robes and turn one into a ferret!**

_So, the Scottish Cat didn't like it for some reason…_

Yeah, she gave us a T.

**Bad Scottish Cat. **

Anyway… COURT CASE!

**GUILTY!**

I should be ruler of the world because I rock and Skye doesn't. So, thus, I am AMAZING!

_Whatever, I win. _


	3. The Prank x2

Today we walked down the corridor

**Five people screamed at us **

_Nine people swore at us_

_**And 30 tried to stupefy us **_

**Which is funny because only 20 of the were students**

Every day I get bugged by the annoying Colin Creevy. He is better at annoying than us menaces, and to be that good he must be a world champion

_Anyway, we finally got so bored of him that we decided to make a prank_

**The prank # 1**

Hey Colin!

**Did you here about the new Harry Potter club**

_You go and he talks to you and poses for photos and does autographs and everything. ._

(We watch as Colin images what that would it be like, a dreamy gaze appears on his face so Skye kicked him to make sure that he came out of the dream)

**So (I said whilst Skye hopped around the room clutching her bleeding foot.)**

_That boy is made of rock!_

Shut up Skye and Rox stop posing for Colin

Colin to join the club you must have blue hair and red hands and the meeting is in the shrieking shack every Tuesday

_There's one entrance under the Whomping Willow._

**The next day, we found out that Colin had tried to get into the Willow with blue hair and red hands. He didn't get in. He got a broken arm and went to the hospital wing!**

_So, we decided to visit him!_

**The Prank #2!**

Hi Colin!

_Didn't you get in? Shame… But, there's another way to get in! Just go up to Dumblydore and pull his beard!_

**The next day, we got detention. **

Lots of detention.

_Lots and lots of detention. _

Lots and Lots and Lots of dentention.

_Lots and L-_

**THEY GET THE IDEA!**

_Silly Dumblywumbly…_


	4. The Detention

Hi were just in detention

_Again…_

**In fact we have our own table reserved for us **

So far we have been given detention for

_Potions_

**Transfiguration**

Charms

**And herbology and that just in the last three hours!**

_For homework we had to do a description of a student._

**We did it on little miss perfect**

Or also know as Hermione Granger

**Here is the description**

_Aka little miss perfect _

Frizzy fuzzy hair

_Big teeth_

**Teachers pet **

Suck up

_Giant goody two shoes _

**Fancies Ron LOADS**

_Err ... guys she's looking over out shoulder…._

And there she goes of to the teacher

**That is the thing now no-one need proof anymore **

_They know we did it ..,_

**Right guys of we go to detention**

Again…

We'll at least we annoyed some one else

_Just about _

**5,082,793,542,674 people left to go**

But we can't tell you them all

**Now it is time to tell you all readers the biggest secret of all!**

Our houses!

_My full name is Skye de Lisle and I am 13 years old and my house is… Hufflepuff!_

**My name is Rox Sandstorm and I am 11 years old and I am in…Ravenclaw!**

So that leaves me, River, River Spark and my house is Gryffindor!

**So basically I am the smartest **

_Yeah right you can't do 3x3 _

**Yeah I can it is 10 so there **

_What ever _

Well I am definitely the bravest

_Yeah right _

Hey I jumped off the astromomy tower.

_That was a dare_

It was for a good cause

**To annoy McGonagall**

Yeah well I am dead serious

_Yeah, you were nearly dead alright _

**Shut up **

_Well I am the loyalist _

Tell me one time you were loyal

_Er….er…er….how about ….. no_

**Just what I thought **

_Anyway, I covered up for you guys when you painted Snape's hair pink!_

**It was so greasy…**

That's cause you threw up on it.

**He was unconscious. **


	5. The Hosptial Wing

**Chapter 5 **(sarcastic)

**UH OH. I feel ill. Whatever shall I do? Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze. **

_Why don't you take a visit to the hospital wing?_

Madame PomPom will be so glad to see us.

_The last time we saw her was yesterday._

**Long time no see.**

OK, so this time, Rox pretend you're severely ill.

**Gotcha.**

**Moan , moan. I'm so ill Madame Pom-pom. Can I have some medicine?**

_Boom._

Why did she push us out the hospital wing? We shall have to report this behaviour to Dumbly-dore.

_Lets go now._

**(In the middle of potions)**

A few minutes later…

…_And that is why we think Madame Pom-pom should be sacked._

**Fired.**

Asked to leave.

_Boom._

Why did he send us out?

_Some people._

**Hey, what you doing after the last lesson?**

Detention.

_Detention._

**Detention.**

_Who's taking detention today?_

Er, Madame pom-pom!

**Cough, wheeze, sniff. Suddenly, I feel really ill again.**


	6. The Poltergeist

_Chapter 6: The Poltergeist._

If you're walking down a corridor at night, who's gonna tell on you in a squeaky high voice?

**Peeves.**

_Who'll do anything just to annoy you?_

Peeves.

**Just like us in so many ways.**

_We hate him._

**We're going to catch him.**

At night.

_With the "Catcherus Peeverus" spell we blackmailed granger in to creating._

**Got the net?**

Yep.

**Lets go.**

_Its eleven o'clock. At night._

Put your dressing gown on Skye.

_Its too hot._

**Shut it. Lets go.**

"_Catcherus Peeverus!"_

I got him, I got him!

_No wait. That's a cat!_

**That's the Scottish cat.**

_Run?_

**Run.**

RUN!

M: You better run alright…


	7. The Cabbage

Hi there it's me River

_And me Skye _

Sadly Roxie isn't here today….

_Yeah there was an incident _

A big one

_A huge one _

An astronomy tower sized one.

_That's all we will say _

So yeah .losing Rox briefly wasn't going to stop us

_To revenge our friend , who hates veggies _

WE decided to pick on the biggest one we have here

_The giant pumpkins on Halloween?_

No dumbo, professor sprout

_Professor cabbage?_

No, professor sprout

_No she is called Professor Cabbage _

No silly S.P.R.O.U.T SPROUT

_Ohhhh, so __that's__ why she hates it when I call her cabbage…._

Oh God…

_Yes, I am. Thank you for admitting it. Gifts are not optional. _

What?

_Never mind._

Whatever. So, we decided to go to the one place where she always is!

_THE KITCHENS!_

The greenhouses. And we decided to see what she was doing.

_SHE WAS COOKING!_

She was planting. So, then we decided to tell her about what we had done that day…

_Hi, Professor Cabbage!  
_Hi, Professor Sprout!

_How are you today?_

We're fine. Guess what we've been doing!  
_What do you mean, no?_

I am hurt.

_So am I. Anyway, we were doing really interesting things!  
_Like, what actually happens when you paint a house elf blue?

_And, are Slytherins really made of slime?_

They aren't.

_No._

They're made of goo!

_Yay!_

What have you been doing?

_Hey, where are you going? _

Wait for us !

_We wanna come too!  
_Stop running

_Yeah stop , you look funny _

Heee heeeeeeeeeeee

_But you love us really _

No she doesn't

_She doesn't _

No Skye , she doesn't

__

Shut it…

_Meap, sorry River,_

Yeah, you should be.

_Okay! Hang on- where did she go?_

Sprouty!"  
_Cabbage?_

Where is she?

_There she is! By the pumpkins!  
_After her!  
_Hang on- what is she doing with that pumpkin?_

Is she going to throw that-

_AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!_

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

_Help!_

Ewwwww, pumpkin guts….

_YUMMMY I luv pumpkin _

SKYE, STOP EATING YOURSELF?

_But I luv pumpkin guts meanie _

I know you are, but what am I?

_Huh?_

You don't get it.

_No. Where did she go now?_

Into the school!  
_She's heading for the Great Hall!_  
Hang on- she's just walked in! And we're covered in pumpkin guts and we're running in too! Skye! STOP!  
_Why is everyone laughing at me?_

Cause not to be mean but you're a freak coverd in pumpkinm guts !

_HURTFUL!_

SKYE STOP EATING

_I eat when I'm uspest_

OH, dear why oh wh6y do I hang out with you in the first place ?

_Cause you LOVE me ?_

Oh, no Skye don't hug

_HUG_

NOOOO, oh sky , my new robes, myhair, ewhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

_Hehe. You look funny._

I. Hate. You.

_No you don't._

Yes, I do.

_Why is the Scottish cat glaring at us?_

No idea.

_She's coming this way!_

Closer…

_Closer…_

Closer…

_Closer…_

Closer…

_RUN!_


End file.
